Potty Training An Elephant

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Johnny Cash: A dime for the pay toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle