#1 humor site on the 'net

Secruity Parking Spot

In-secure sign a sign of poor secruity?

Secruity Parking Spot thanks to Lynne Wetherell

QuotaBills
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow