#1 humor site on the 'net

Terrorist 'Catch and Release' Program

U.S. Navy releases terrorist in a truly humanitarian gesture

The U.S. Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Quaeda terrorist after questioning his extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a U.S. aircraft carrier (USS Enterprise) in the Arabian Sea. In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 U.S. and a white 1965 Ford Fairlane automobile upon being released from custody. The attached photo (taken by Navy photographers aboard the Enterprise) shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy. Advice has it that the Navy has 472 '65 Ford Fairlanes on inventory - ex staff cars...
Terrorist 'Catch and Release' Program thanks to Wally Zatylny

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good soldier is a poor scout. - Cheyenne Proverb

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

If you're having a bad day, catch a wave. - Frosty Hesson

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Let me fall is I must fall. The one I become will catch me. - Baal Shem Tov

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. - Steven Wright

A standing army is one of the greatest mischiefs that can possibly happen. - James Madison

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. - Unknown

We are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates. - Denis Diderot

Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide. - Henri Barbusse

Catch on fire with enthusiasm, and people will come for miles to watch you burn. - John Wesley

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker

Forgiveness really is so misunderstood, as well as the power it can release in an individual. - Jennifer O'Neill

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

I didn't know that painters and writers retired. They're like soldiers – they just fade away. - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

I have a catch phrase: "You're fired," ... Don King has a catch phrase: "Not Guilty." - Donald Trump

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. - G K Chesterton

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. - Benjamin Franklin

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one. - Albert Einstein

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our history is an inevitable component of our being. One thing only can release us from the grip of our history. That one thing is forgiveness. - Lewis B Smedes


LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers