#1 humor site on the 'net

Terrorist 'Catch and Release' Program

U.S. Navy releases terrorist in a truly humanitarian gesture

The U.S. Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Quaeda terrorist after questioning his extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a U.S. aircraft carrier (USS Enterprise) in the Arabian Sea. In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 U.S. and a white 1965 Ford Fairlane automobile upon being released from custody. The attached photo (taken by Navy photographers aboard the Enterprise) shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy. Advice has it that the Navy has 472 '65 Ford Fairlanes on inventory - ex staff cars...
Terrorist 'Catch and Release' Program thanks to Wally Zatylny

QuotaBills
Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't catch a falling knife. - Trader's Saying

Necessity makes the best soldiers. - Josephus

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

If the skies fall, one may hope to catch larks. - Francois Rabelais

Soldiers win the battles and generals get the credit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Storytelling is the calculated release of information. - Alex Garland

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. - Unknown

The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem. - Aaron Kilbourn

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

Laws, like spider webs, catch flies and let hawks go free. - Spanish Proverb

Let me fall is I must fall. The one I become will catch me. - Baal Shem Tov

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Vaseball: A game of catch played by children in the living room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Be harmonious with each other, enrich the soldiers, ignore all others. - Septimius Severus

Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you. - John de Paola

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. - Indian Proverb

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

We are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates. - Denis Diderot

Praise is a powerful people-builder. Catch individuals doing something right. - Brian Tracy

Catch on fire with enthusiasm, and people will come for miles to watch you burn. - John Wesley

I can chase you, and I can catch you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. - Morrissey

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you. - Unknown

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

Through return to simple living comes release of desires. In release of desires, stillness is attained. In stillness the world is restored. - Lao Tzu

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock