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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge. - Gerald Jampolsky

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King

Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obeys them. - Henry Ward Beecher

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown

People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross

Lawyers are operators of toll bridges which anyone in search of justice must pass. - Jane Bryant Quinn

Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook

May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. - Will Rogers

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The denial of an objective moral law based on the compulsion to deny the existence of God results ultimately in the denial of evil itself. - Ravi Zacharias

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato


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