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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
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Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner

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The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end. - Arthur Baer

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

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You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

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I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

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Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

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The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

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Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Strapless Gown: 1. When a woman won't shoulder the responsibility; 2. A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman


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