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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

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Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

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Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

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Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

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A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

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True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

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When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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