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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Laws, like spider webs, catch flies and let hawks go free. - Spanish Proverb

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one. - Voltaire

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison

Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman


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