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Texas Limo

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Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

One more stage, one more limo, one more run for your life. - John Lennon

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey


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