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Texas Limo

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Reindeer: A horse with a hat rack - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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