Woman's Odometer

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

Women would rather be right than reasonable. - Ogden Nash

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on - Mignon McLaughlin

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams