#1 humor site on the 'net

Woman's Odometer

New odometer for women - with speeds that make sense

Woman's Odometer thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

QuotaBills
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

Women would rather be right than reasonable. - Ogden Nash

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on - Mignon McLaughlin

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams


Dog Laundry - Hung Out To Dry

Ahead Of You

Only in Montana

Paper Lunge

FireFox vs. Windows

'Pick Your Nose' Cup

Playing Mantis

XL Cup of Tea

Dogue

Geek Gravestone

Split Personality

Wine Day

Smirnoff Women

Front Bum

Wine Wheels

Cheese Crakers

The 'New' Economy

Floating Gazebo

Cordless Plumbing

USB Vacuum Cleaner

Men's Wedding Photos

Help For Dead Children

Canine Golf Caddy

Gas-Resistant Pram