#1 humor site on the 'net

Autumn Illusion

Daylight Savings Time - Fall Behind or Leaf Ahead?

Autumn Illusion thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Every cloud has a silver lining. - Proverb

Manners are love in a cool climate. - Quentin Crisp

I talk to God but the sky is empty. - Sylvia Plath

I fell of my pink cloud with a thud. - Elizabeth Taylor

If the sky falls, hold up your hands. - Spanish proverb

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. - William Ward

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. - Buddha

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. - Bob Dylan

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

If everyone helps to hold up the sky, then one person does not become tired. - Tshi Proverb

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

I enjoy the spring more than the autumn now. One does, I think, as one gets older. - Virginia Woolf

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. - Don Marquis

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility. - Saint Augustine

A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most recent blessings or misfortunes. - Joseph Addison

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright


Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church

Handicap Ramp

Kick Out Boxing

Patience and Wisdom

Submarine Racing

Dead Sea Burgers

Sick Statue

I Will Never Understand Fashion

Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up

Anger Release Machine

Closing Time

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car