#1 humor site on the 'net

Back Bacon For Kids

Sleeping on your best friend and breakfast

Back Bacon For Kids thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. - WC Fields

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection

Basketball Car

Apathy Mountain

Ready To Leave

Portable Samurai

CPU Marshmallows

Hokey Pokey Clinic

Brazil Banisters

VW Treehouse

Crocodile Fall

Hoodie Onesy

BUSker

Monsoon TV

Worked For Them

Colon Celery

Hot Tub Cover

Piano Dress

Parking Guide

Apology to Potential Criminals

Before Morning Coffee