#1 humor site on the 'net

Back Bacon For Kids

Sleeping on your best friend and breakfast

Back Bacon For Kids thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
In a pig's dye - Archie Bunker

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string. - Hugh Kingsmill

Sometimes I've believed as many as six possible things before breakfast. - Lewis Caroll

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid


Saskatchewan Army

Productive Computers

Dogdems

Black Olives Matter

Food Tips

Fire Starter

Holiday Office

Good Driver

Guest Check

Redneck Shower Head

Deconstruction

It's Broken Now

Mirror Objects

Bicycle Skates

Baby Scan

Canadian Moose Dog

Praying & Preying Mantis

Toilet Paper For The Mother-In-Law

Texas Bank Security

Swimming Pool Reopening

WipeOut

Canadian Lemmings

Pantastic Crop

On A Roll - Only In Japan