#1 humor site on the 'net

Can Never Have Too Many Tools

Tim the Tool Man's SUV

Can Never Have Too Many Tools thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch. - John F Kennedy

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life. - Joseph Addison

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. - Abraham Maslow

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Communications tools don't get socially interesting until they get technologically boring. - Clay Shirky

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

I'm focusing on healing lives and teaching people that they can heal - giving them tools to heal. - Iyanla Vanzant

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools. - Marshall McLuhan

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Style used to be an interaction between the human soul and tools that were limiting. In the digital era, it will have to come from the soul alone. - Jaron Lanier

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


South Carolina Scenery

Young Mechanic

Scary Cold

Redneck Street Fishing

I Found A Bear Cub!

Flippin'

Without 'Me' It's Just 'Aweso'

Lard Family

Tip Discount

I'll Be Right There

Dog Download

Computer SuperUser - a.k.a. 'Root' Hacker

Russian BiteLifter

Paper Jam or Mouse Jam?

Snow Roller

Canadian Tough

Canadian Polo

Just Checking

Pocket Book

Just Checking

The 'New' Economy

Metro Support

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Punk Fiat