Can Never Have Too Many Tools

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work. - Charles Kingsley

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool. - Stephen King

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. - Abraham Maslow

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I once worked as a salesman and was very independent. I tool orders from no one. - Gerald Barzan

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright