Cat Woman and Rat Man

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison