#1 humor site on the 'net

Catapult Soccer

How cats prepare for the World Cup

Catapult Soccer thanks to Wally Zatylny

QuotaBills
After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life. - Bruce Willis

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


'Pick Your Nose' Cup

Playing Mantis

XL Cup of Tea

Dogue

Geek Gravestone

Split Personality

Wine Day

Smirnoff Women

Front Bum

Wine Wheels

Cheese Crakers

The 'New' Economy

Floating Gazebo

Cordless Plumbing

USB Vacuum Cleaner

Men's Wedding Photos

Help For Dead Children

Canine Golf Caddy

Gas-Resistant Pram

Dubai Ski Hill

Cat Chess

Happy Periods

Stuffed Owl

Lego Brick