Christmas Abroad

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Trust in God - but tie your camel tight. - Persian Proverb

A camel is a racehorse built by committee. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

That's the straw that broke the camel's neck. - Archie Bunker

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

It's the final straw that broke the camel's back. - English Proverb

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased. - John Nesvig

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple