Christmas Baby

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon