Church Sign Humour

Dear Jesus, do something. - Vladimir Nabokov

All of nature is God's art. - Dante

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Without God life makes no sense. - Andrei Bitov

I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader

The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb

God does not play dice with the universe. - Albert Einstein

When humor goes, there goes civilization. - Erma Bombeck

God will forgive me. That's his business. - Heinrich Heine

God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it. - Norman MacDonald

If God is the author of life, there must be a script. - Ravi Zacharias

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. - Virgil A Kraft

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart

A sense of humour is the ability to laugh at one's self. - Charlie Chaplin

And if I please you so, my lover, remember praise is comely. - Countee Cullen

Don't be afraid to pray big prayers, we serve a big God. - Unknown

All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God. - Oswald Chambers

Those who have the disease called Jesus will never be cured. - Brennan Manning

God does not require we be successful, only that we be faithful. - Mother Teresa

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Praise follows truth afar off, and only overtakes her at the grave. - James R Lowell

Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing. - Albert Laighton

God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble. - Bible

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. - Sonia Ricotti

You can have faith or you can have control, but you cannot have both. - Mark Batterson

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. - Oscar Wilde

God created Adam lord of all living creatures, but Eve spoiled it all. - Martin Luther

Unless you assume a God, the question of life's purpose is meaningless. - Bertrand Russell

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking. - R Buckminster Fuller

I am totally convinced the Christian faith is the most coherent worldview around. - Ravi Zacharias

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. - Allen Klein

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. - Max Eastman

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God :) - Unknown

Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous. - Thornton Wilder

God isn't asking you to figure it out. He's asking you to trust that He already has. - Unknown

In hard seasons, God is not trying to destroy you. He is trying to bring the best out of you. - Unknown

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. - Helen Keller

Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe. - Saint Augustine

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. - Bible

We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside

I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration. - William P Young

If you're going down the street and you're going the wrong way, remember - God permits U-turns. - Suze Orman

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Prayer is not about letting God know your will; it's about completely submitting to him. You die to yourself. - Mark Batterson

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. - Tina Fey

It is from the Bible that man has learned cruelty, rapine, and murder; for the belief of a cruel God makes a cruel man. - Thomas Paine

Faith isn't about always having all the answers. Faith is about believing that God will always come through for you. - Unknown

We study the glory of God, and the honour and liberty of parliament, for which we fight, without seeking our own interests. - Oliver Cromwell

When faith replaces doubt, when selfless service eliminates selfish striving, the power of God brings to pass His purposes. - Thomas S Monson

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Charity may be a very short word, but with its tremendous meaning of pure love, it sums up man's entire relation to God and to his neighbor. - Aelred of Rievaulx