Church Sign Humour

Pit Bull Faith - DannyMac

In God we trust. - U.S. Currency Motto

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

God does not play dice with the universe. - Albert Einstein

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. - George Bernard Shaw

Religion is the search for ultimate meaning. - Viktor Frankl

You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans

My poems are hymns of praise to the glory of life. - Edith Sitwell

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. - Unknown

God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions. - Voltaire

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce

To praise great actions is in some sense to share them. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

Whatever I cannot do for God's glory must be avoided. - A.W. Pink

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves. - Joni Eareckson Tada

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. - Woody Allen

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. - Vincent Van Gogh

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

And 'tis my faith, that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes. - William Wordsworth

I deepen my experience of God through prayer, meditation, and forgiveness. - Marianne Williamson

If I owe Smith ten dollars and God forgives me, that doesn't pay Smith. - Robert G Ingersoll

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. - Erich Fromm

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

Once you have been reconciled to God, you have no problem being reconciled to others. - Fred Luter

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

I'm tired of praise; and love is very sweet, when it is simple and sincere like this. - Louisa May Alcott

Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not at hand. - Thomas Aquinas

Animals are simply sophisticated machines created by the infinitely skilled artisan, God. - Brian G Henning

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

Most of us forget to take time for wonder, praise and gratitude until it is almost too late. - Faith Baldwin

A man must be orthodox upon most things or he will never have time to preach his own heresy. - G K Chesterton

God isn't asking you to figure it out. He's asking you to trust that He already has. - Unknown

If religion is to be treated with intellectual respect, then it must stand the test of truth. - Ravi Zacharias

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

The resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Giving is more than a responsibility - it is a privilege; more than an act of obedience - it is evidence of our faith. - William A Ward

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

If God has given you a message, go and give it to the people as God has given it to you. It is a stupid thing to try to be eloquent. - Dwight L. Moody

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo Galilei

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

In Christ was united the human and the divine. His mission was to reconcile God to man, and man to God; to unite the finite with the infinite. - Ellen G White

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Charity may be a very short word, but with its tremendous meaning of pure love, it sums up man's entire relation to God and to his neighbor. - Aelred of Rievaulx