Close Call Parking

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Any time you're near a kangaroo, it's a close call. - Jerry O'Connell

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash