Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Dad's Ex-Ferrari
What happens when you borrow your Dad's Ferrari and hit a telephone pole
Dad's Ferrari - Before...
Dad's Ferrari - After...
The driver only had some bruising (seat belt) and 2 small cuts.
Car loss: 1 million US
Waiting list for a new one: 2 years at least (if you can get one)
When can I drive Dad’s car again? Next lifetime
When will I not be grounded & see the light of day? Next Ice Age
Still alive: Priceless
Car loss: 1 million US
Waiting list for a new one: 2 years at least (if you can get one)
When can I drive Dad’s car again? Next lifetime
When will I not be grounded & see the light of day? Next Ice Age
Still alive: Priceless
Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman
She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown
So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher
It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman
She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown
So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher
It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
She's A Keeper
Algebra Relationship
Pumpkin Races
Bed Equalizer
David's Return To Italy
Sick Pumpkin
Winning An Argument With A Woman
Why Dogs Bite Their Owners
Barcode Eyelashes
Howloween
Caviar Burger
Icelandic Police Donuts
Size Matters
Crowd Surfing - Expert Level
Dream The Impossible
When Life Gets You Down
Redneck Estate Sale
How To Tweet Others
Nutella Soother
Autumn Camouflage
Go Play Outside
Be Someone
Arkansas Divorce Application
Three Finger Carrot