#1 humor site on the 'net

Divorce Cakes

When you can't have the cake and eat all of it too

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

Divorce Cakes thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lawyers are guardians of the legal order. - Philip Wood

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Incongruous: Where our laws are made and how they appear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered. - Aristotle

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of any itch is inversely proportional to the reach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws. - Mayer A. Rothschild

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

I don't know as I want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire him to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott


Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks

Lights, Camera, Overreaction

Rebar Walker

Leading The Way

Melted Dog

Painful Ballet

Welder's Last Stand

My Life Goal

1-800-PILLCASH

Ghetto Boat

Hungry Hiker Tree

Redneck Roof

My Last Swim In The Ocean