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ER Patch

How to cut down on waiting time in the Emergency Room

While living in Southern California I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch that I had downloaded off the Internet onto the front of my shirt.
When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren’t that sick after all.
Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service...
ER Patch thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. - George Carlin

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief. - George Herbert

The hole and the patch should be commensurate. - Thomas Jefferson

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. - William Shakespeare

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Save a thief from the gallows and he will be the first to cut your throat. - Italian Proverb

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide. - Henri Barbusse

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. - Josh Billings

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. - G K Chesterton

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


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