#1 humor site on the 'net

Future Therapy

I just love Halloween. After all, it's for the kids.

Future Therapy thanks to Rick Bohnenkamp

QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

To be haunted is to glimpse a truth that might best be hidden. - James Herbert

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor


Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours

Tight Fit

Life Is Beautiful

Buddha Pear

Yes!

Sunday Service Social Distancing

Mannequin Pointer