Gift Shop for Stray Kids

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

I don't teach my children what is Hindu and what is Muslim. - Shah Rukh Khan

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Children raced outside. She surveyed their trail - traces of sticky fingerprints across everything, like wee poems. - Dr. SunWolf

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy. - George Bernard Shaw

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner