Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

I like children - fried. - WC Fields

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Children are poor people's riches. - Unknown

Children make you want to start life over. - Muhammad Ali

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

What's done to children, they will do to society. - Karl A Menninger

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Teach the children so it will not be necessary to teach the adults. - Abraham Lincoln

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Daddies don't just love their children every now and then, it's a love without end. - George Strait

No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses - one vaccine at a time, over time. - Donald Trump

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. - Antoine de Saint-Expurey

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller