Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

You see much more of your children once they leave home. - Lucille Ball

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp

Little children, little sorrows; big children, great sorrows. - Danish Proverb

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. - Ann Landers

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John J Plomp

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest. - C S Lewis

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou