Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Vaseball: A game of catch played by children in the living room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be. - Carol Coats

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

What can we make of the inexpressible joy of children? It is a kind of gratitude. - Annie Dillard

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. - Bernie Mac

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Unknown

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami