#1 humor site on the 'net

He Looks Just Like His Father!

When guys may want a 2nd delivery opinion

He Looks Just Like His Father! thanks to Darwin McKee

Is this Doc all he's quacked up to be?

QuotaBills
When in doubt, duck. - Malcolm Forbes

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. - Michael Caine

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Nothing is more despicable than a professional talker who uses his words as a quack uses his remedies. - Francois Fenelon

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield


Pedal Car Mechanic

Winterpeg Warm

Box Biker

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Swingers

Patience and Wisdom

Hippo Race

Tank Top Security

Bus Office

I Lost My Job With Lifeline

Wet Rain

Boo Pumpkin

Downspout

Sausage Cat

Plastic Bottle Beach Art

Dog Shoes

Casket Car

Cafe Cappuccino

Redneck Car Swing

Need A Lifeguard?

Newfie Parkin' Only

What Are Friends For?

Piano Mover

Pumpkin Helmet