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He Looks Just Like His Father!

When guys may want a 2nd delivery opinion

He Looks Just Like His Father! thanks to Darwin McKee

Is this Doc all he's quacked up to be?

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung


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