#1 humor site on the 'net

Last Ice Fishing Trip

Looking for more 'weighs' to lose your pickup?

Last Ice Fishing Trip thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. - Thomas Jefferson

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


A Balanced Diet

Bowen Arrow

Business School Basics

Broken Potted Plant Art

Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife