#1 humor site on the 'net

Leaving A Good Impression

Sandal footprints

Leaving A Good Impression thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
God gave me my money. - John D. Rockefeller

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

God gave burdens, also shoulders. - Yiddish Proverb

Ultimately, blind faith is the only kind. - Mason Cooley

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

Enthusiasm is a kind of faith that has been set afire. - George Matthew Adams

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Faith lightens the path your shadowed mind has to walk. - Michelle Horst

The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. - Jay Leno

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. - Mother Teresa

Faith must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies. - Mahatma Gandhi

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Only faith in Christ gives rise to a culture contrary to egotism and death. - Pope John Paul II

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

Every evening I turn worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. - Mary C. Crowley

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. - Bob Hope

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry. - Richard Dawkins

There is not greater reward in our profession than the knowledge that God has entrusted us with the physical care of his people. - Dr. Elmer Hess

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm. - William Cowper

When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in this life that you denied yourself. - Unknown

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

It's all nonsense. It's only nonsense. I'm not afraid of the rain. I am not afraid of the rain. Oh, oh, God, I wish I wasn't. - Ernest Hemingway

A wise man knows when to stay silent. However, a wiser man of faith knows that sometimes words can win the battle when all odds stand against you. - Shannon L. Alder


Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow