#1 humor site on the 'net

Lightdays for Children

Why children should never be left alone

Lightdays for Children thanks to Wally Zatylny

Lightdays? This kid's Lightyears ahead in Extra Coverage!

QuotaBills
Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. - Jon Stewart

Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. - Madeleine L'Engle

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

Inspiration at its best means breath, and only too frequently means wind. - G K Chesterton

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

We have to make our inspiration first before our inspiration can build us. - Sanjive K Sharma

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration; the rest of us just get up and go to work. - Stephen King

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

When nature is my inspiration and subject, I am witness to an extraordinary range of color and every imaginable atmospheric condition. - Karen Casey

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


A Balanced Diet

Bowen Arrow

Business School Basics

Broken Potted Plant Art

Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife