Need More Horsepower?

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine. - Elvis Presley

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire. - Stanley Kunitz

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Horsepower was a wonderful thing when only horses had it. - Unknown

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz