One Horsepower Car

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright