#1 humor site on the 'net

Peanut Butter Hound

You want the peanut butter? Sure, just pass me the jam...

Peanut Butter Hound thanks to Rick Bohnenkamp

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Jiffy: One metric ton of peanut butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright


False Teeth

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rabbit or Duck?

Radar Replacement

I Shoot People!

Evolution and Philosophy

Owl Get Around To It

Redneck Piton

The World Is Going Down The Drain

First Dodge Ram

Moldy Bible

Aussie Definition of 'Lucky'

Church on Wheels

Hungry Tree

How We Played Online Before The Internet

Soda Bottle Boat

Princess Parking

Perpetual Motion

Math Opinion

Redneck Bull-Only Carrier

Creative Clothing

Re-Ewes Me

Owlympics Bobsled

4 Men, 1 Face