#1 humor site on the 'net

Peanut Butter Hound

You want the peanut butter? Sure, just pass me the jam...

Peanut Butter Hound thanks to Rick Bohnenkamp

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake