#1 humor site on the 'net

Plain Plane School

Ground School for Redneck students

Plain Plane School thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The lure of flying is the lure of beauty. - Amelia Earhart

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying. - Unknown

Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin

If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first. - Unknown

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal. - American Proverb

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

She would stay there, flying across the sea like a mermaid with wings, until the end. - Natalia Marx

Aviation is proof that given the will, we have the capacity to achieve the impossible. - Edward V Richenbacher

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

There is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. - Edward Elgar

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The understanding must not therefore be supplied with wings, but rather hung with weights, to keep it fro leaping and flying. - Francis Bacon

Be not penny-wise. Riches have wings. Sometimes they fly away of themselves, and sometimes they must be set flying to bring in more. - Francis Bacon

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Five Firm Brakes Tire

Dark Side Bus Stop

Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert