QuotaBillsAfford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fishing Gear Vendors: Reel estate agents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman
She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright