Redneck Engagement Ring

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The ring always believes that the finger lives for it. - Malcolm de Chazal

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown