#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Engagement Ring

Bubba deserves only the best on his wedding day

Redneck Engagement Ring thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Adorable: What you ring when you go visiting. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint