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Redneck Parking Brake

Bubba's home made parking brake - GR8 for hills!

Redneck Parking Brake thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Parking Lot Attendant: Professional fender bender - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks

Lights, Camera, Overreaction

Rebar Walker

Leading The Way

Melted Dog

Painful Ballet

Welder's Last Stand

My Life Goal

1-800-PILLCASH

Ghetto Boat

Hungry Hiker Tree

Redneck Roof

My Last Swim In The Ocean