Reindeer Strike
Why kids in New York will go without Christmas presents this year
Santa Clause Union demands overtime for Reindeer members this year
QuotaBillsSanta's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton
The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. - G K Chesterton
There is a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully its not a freight train! - Mariah Carey
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing. - Lewis Grizzard
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
At night they all come out of the subway and they're hooverin' around the corner. - Archie Bunker
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. - Oscar Wilde
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. - Robert Breault
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. - Paul Simon
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
I would solve a lot of literary problems just thinking about a character in the subway, where you can't do anything anyway. - Toni Morrison
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom
Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon