Reindeer Strike

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Unaccompanied: The orchestra is on strike - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. - G K Chesterton

There is a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully its not a freight train! - Mariah Carey

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing. - Lewis Grizzard

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

At night they all come out of the subway and they're hooverin' around the corner. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. - Robert Breault

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. - Paul Simon

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I would solve a lot of literary problems just thinking about a character in the subway, where you can't do anything anyway. - Toni Morrison

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato