Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. - Stanislaw Lec

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

After a certain age every man is responsible for his face. - Albert Camus

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. - Don Marquis

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory. - Franklin P Adams

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A manager is responsible for the application and performance of knowledge. - Peter F Drucker

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you. - Henri F Amiel

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself. - Henry Ward Beecher

The pursuit of happiness is responsible for a good part of the ills and miseries of the modern world. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. - C S Lewis

Pursuing a God-ordained passion, no matter how crazy it seems, is the most responsible thing you can do. - Mark Batterson

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. - Oprah Winfrey

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Responsible - who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, "Who's responsible for this?" - Jerry Seinfeld

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

Each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. - Viktor Frankl

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster