Santa's Email

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco