Santa's Email

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney