Santa's Email

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco