#1 humor site on the 'net

Santa's Email

Santa calls on many hands to answer his fan e-mail

Santa's Email thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco


Europe Road Trip

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage