Santa's Toy

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Unbreakable Toy: 1. An object that is indestructible - until a child plays with it; 2. Useful for breaking other toys. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil. - Victor Hugo