#1 humor site on the 'net

Special Present For Grandpa

Looking for a Cool way to spend your evening with the grandkids?

Special Present For Grandpa thanks to Vikky Levan

just before Little Johnny went to bed for the rest of his life

QuotaBills
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

And isn't he as slow as a wet week! - Unknown

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

Lines of gulls standing on glassy blue patches of wet sand. - Cathleen Schine

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


Fly Art

Texas Rain Gauge

Camel Hatchback

Teahouse of the August Moon

Bent Baby

Deluxembourg

Lost Head

Moving Sofa

Florida Golf Hazard

Billionaire Thoughts

Graduation Swag

U.S. Millionaires

How To Save NASA

Computer Travelers

Virtual Air Canada

Jockey Racing

'Pier' Pressure

Canadian Coat Of Arms

On The Eighth Day

Texas Bakery

Moto Lawnmower

Pothole Garden

Alaskan Summer

Canadian Fast Food - Summer