Swiss Minigun

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. - Steven Wright

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

I am proud of the fact that I never invented weapons to kill. - Thomas Edison

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Leadership is intangible, and therefore no weapon ever designed can replace it. - Omar N. Bradley

It is much easier to imagine ghastly new biological weapons than to create them. - Andrew Pollack

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. - Joseph Stalin

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

No weapon has ever settled a moral problem. It can impose a solution but it cannot guarantee it to be a just one. - Ernest Hemingway

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The Supreme Court's only armor is the cloak of public trust; its sole ammunition, the collective hopes of our society. - Irving R. Kaufman

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck