Toddler Joe

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Checkpoint: A location from which the programmer draws his salary. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

I don't like creating software anymore. It's too exact. It's like karate; there's no room for error. - John Maeda

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright