Toddler Joe

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

It's hard for me to imagine why a church that has younger members wouldn't have a blog component. - Mark Batterson

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

I don't like creating software anymore. It's too exact. It's like karate; there's no room for error. - John Maeda

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco