'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving - let's talk turkey
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep -
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep;
The leftovers beckoned – the dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might!
Tossing and turning with anticipation...
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore!
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes...
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes;
I felt myself swelling, so plump and so round,
‘Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground -
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all, pass the cranberries, please!
May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes ‘n gravy have ‘nary a lump;
May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer