#1 humor site on the 'net

Wedding Pound Cake

Need to lose a little weight before your wedding?

Wedding Pound Cake thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Kick Out Boxing

Patience and Wisdom

Submarine Racing

Dead Sea Burgers

Sick Statue

I Will Never Understand Fashion

Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up

Anger Release Machine

Closing Time

Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car

Darth VadeHer

Submergible

Happy People