World Cup Elephant

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy