QuotaBillsAll is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden