Alaska Marriage License

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

It's a catch he would have caught 99 times out of 1,000. - Henry Blofeld

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

We are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates. - Denis Diderot

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

The U.S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. - Benjamin Franklin

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell