#1 humor site on the 'net

Braid Hair Pair

Best of friends braid hair together

Braid Hair Pair thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

He's a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. - Lance Bass

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

Here's a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous. - Henny Youngman

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. - Steven Wright

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Give me a couple of years, and I'll make that actress an overnight success. - Samuel Goldwyn

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days. - Ike Barinholtz

I've never run a marathon because I haven't bought a pair of shorts and arrived at the start line. - Sue Perkins

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


Fawn Of You

Baby's Off Day

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Why Wear A Safety Helmet?

It's Making This Weird Noise

Awkward

German Emergency Road Share

Bikini Photobomb

Hands Free Cell Phone

Defence Budget Cuts

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Soldier Salute

Miss Afghanistan Finalists

Beware Of Log

Horse Wood Sculpture

Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Phun with Physics

Saskatchewan Harley

I Don't Want To Get My Pants Wet

Christopher Walken

Secret Passage

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Best Hands-On Coverage