#1 humor site on the 'net

Bread Dress

Voted crumb-iest dress of the year

Bread Dress thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Mold Mould - what you get when worn after it's expiry date

QuotaBills
Who picks your clothes? - Stevie Wonder

Uniform: Sheep's clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bad bread wrecks my outlook on life. - Jeffrey Steingarten

Acorns were good until bread was found. - Francis Bacon

What was the best thing before sliced bread? - George Carlin

Lingerie: The only clothing where less costs more - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. - Henry David Thoreau

Bread: 1. Rises without ever sleeping; 2. Raw toast. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

But what does he owe me for 5 years of bread and broad? - Archie Bunker

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork. - Jonathan Swift

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

Religion is the essence of culture, and culture is the dress of religion. - Paul Tillich

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pajamas: Items of clothing that newlyweds place beside the bed in case of fire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Glamour: The capacity of a woman to get more out of a dress than she puts into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe in goodness, mercy and charity. I believe in casting bread up the waters. - Leonard Nimoy

Ever notice that the hardness of the butter increases with the softness of the bread? - Unknown

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing. - Alexander Wang

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

It is the eye of other people that ruin us. If I were blind I would want, neither fine clothes, fine houses or fine furniture. - Benjamin Franklin

I don't care how many beauty treatments you have, I don't care which bag you're carrying - you have to have a dress. - Vivienne Westwood

You have to do what you love to do, not get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. - Lucinda Basset

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony

Covid Vaccine Testing

The Hills Are Closed

Temperature Tax

Social Distancing Shoes