#1 humor site on the 'net

Child Disarma-meant

Sometimes it takes a child to diffuse a thorny situation

Child Disarma-meant thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Disarming Candy for peaceful riot control

QuotaBills
Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

We will not have peace by afterthought. - Norman Cousins

The highest peace is the peace between opposites. - Leonid Brezhnev

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. - Amelia Earhart

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life. - Oscar Wilde

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. - Tom Clark

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it. - Mona Crane

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

We have believed - and we do believe now - that freedom is indivisible, that peace is indivisible, that economic prosperity is indivisible. - Indira Gandhi

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia


Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer

Milk of Amnesia

Foot-Ball

Exhausted Baby

Open Air Wiring

Miss Chernobyl 2004

Fish Lips

Easy Mopping

African Lunch

Structural Books

Honda Boxer Engine

Sick Tombstone

No Drip

Gun Leash

Whole Human

Antler Field

Moon Football

Bike Rack

Straight From The Cow