#1 humor site on the 'net

Coffin Dragster

Hot Rod guaranteed for life... and the hereafter!

Coffin Dragster thanks to Bob Tasse

Smokin' Dragster - always prepared for the last drag

Bob's one-way road rage contingency plan
QuotaBills
All who have died are equal. - Comanche Proverb

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

Yes, all men must die. But we are not men. - Daenerys Targaryen

Don't dig your grave with a knife and fork. - English Proverb

You were born an original, don't die a copy. - Unknown

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Clyde Campbell

Life insurance is the only game you win when you die. - Unknown

Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor. - Joseph Addison

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. - Unknown

Of all the escape mechanisms, death is the most efficient. - H L Mencken

With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn't consider dying. - Bette Davis

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. - Red Skelton

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

To achieve things, we must live as though we are never going to die. - Luc de Clapiers

Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions. - Joe-kster

Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die - Ray Norda

What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying. - Albert Camus

Men, remember there is no retreat from here. You must die where you stand. - Colin Campbell

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Opera: where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. - Robert Benchley

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done easily lying down. - Woody Allen

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I die I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often. - Unknown

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death. - Betty Bender

Death is the last enemy; once we've got past that I think everything will be all right. - Alice Thomas Ellis

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. - George Burns

Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. - William Saroyan

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die. - Bob Dylan

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

Melbourne is the kind of town that really makes you consider the question, "Is there life after death?" - Bette Midler

Some say cling to the earth while others say reach for the stars. There's time enough for the earth in the grave. - Unknown

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush. - Sylvester Stallone

One thing about being successful is that I stopped being afraid of dying. Once you're a star you're dead already. You're embalmed. - Dustin Hoffman

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan


Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part

Cycle Circles

My New Diet

We Is Closed

Cheap Child Support

Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess