#1 humor site on the 'net

Comfortable Guard Dog

What to do with security dogs that are allergic to work

Comfortable Guard Dog thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Security guard perks on the chain gang

QuotaBills
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. - Mark Twain

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

We see through a glass darkly because all we want is to be comfortable. - Ravi Zacharias

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

What a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is. - C S Lewis

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts; therefore guard accordingly. - Marcus Aurelius

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


School Nap

Find The Lady

Happy Australia Day

Beware Of Big Dog

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Secret Decoder Puzzles

Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute

Snow Sleep

21st Century Bride

SUV Haircut

Graphic Auto Accident (PG)

Cell Phone Book

Aussie Safety Sign

VW Snow Tractor

Math Riddle

Maiden Rock Illusion

Radioactive Games

Winter Bystander

Snow Good

Which One's Real?

Enough Art Supplies

Chinese Watermelon Sculptures

Sea Sand Art

Spot the Mistake