Daddy, Can I Drive?

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. - Barack Obama

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. - Brian Chesky

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. - Henry Brougham

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

Most of the competition was into bulk popcorn because of the major increases in the Drive-In Theatre Outlets. - Orville Redenbacher

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Finance functions lose the potential to steer their organizations to success when they defer performance management to other functions. - Jack Alexander

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz