Diet Water

The healthy die first. - Italian Proverb

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

The heart, like the stomach, wants a varied diet. - Gustave Flaubert

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock